Miss Lincolnshire Voting Begins!
Some weeks ago I read in the Lincolnshire Echo about the forthcoming Miss Lincolnshire contest. Being male, and with some time on my hands, I took a more than healthy interest in the news and read about some of the contestants. It was all very boring.
Last night I had the fortune (I'm unsure whether it was good or bad) to meet one of the contestants. I was in LN2 on the High Street when two girls entered, one wearing a sash with Miss Lincolnshire and some other stuff written on it. Before I knew what had happened, my mates and I had all sent a text message to some random number to register our vote for her. Alcohol is a dangerous thing.
Her friend took on a persona of campaign manager which was unfortunate, as she was clearly more attractive than the candidate. I pushed to see if they had any sort of manifesto, and I wanted to know what responsibilities she would have if crowned Miss Lincolnshire, but the answers didn't appear and I felt let down; I was eager for a debate on the environment or schooling or bikinis or something.
However, being the cautious ex-teacher that I am, the wire brace across the campaign manager's teeth alerted me to the fact that she probably wasn't very old (that and the fact that she was very attractive). I quizzed her on this and the answer was 18. Only 10 years younger than me then. When I returned home, I browsed to www.missengland.info to check out the competition. Here the scandal began.
You see, young Claire Wych isn't 18, but 17! A girl who wishes to represent Lincolnshire is in a bar that has a strict 18 and over policy. Does this mean disqualification? Should there be a public enquiry?
Now that I have the word document with all 20 contestants in it, I can safely say that I've voted for the wrong person. Sadly the only things that count are looks, age, height and name, as that is all that you know about the potentials. So, based upon this, I have done some elimination work.
First of all we rule out all of the contestants under the age of 18. Gone from the list are:
So, now we have to consider our three other options: height, looks and name. None of them are listed as benig taller than me, so they can all stay. However, the following are ruled out for having strange names:
Which only rules out 8 in total. So, it's down to looks. With no talk of motivation, what they enjoy doing or how they're going to change the world, we're down to good old fashioned looks. I can't be bothered putting all 12 in, so here's my top three, starting with number three...
Katy is 18 and 5ft 5in. I think she reached this far with a rather clever 'pyjama wearing' plan.
In second place...
Amber is also 18 but is 5ft 9in. This isn't why she beat Katy.
And the winner is...
Sammie wins due to being slightly older at 20, and a good height at 5ft 10in. She seems classically pretty, and if I could be bothered spending another £1 on a text message I'd vote for her. But I can't, so I won't.
So there you have it: my opinion on Miss Lincolnshire 2006. To those of you who believed I was doing some work this morning: I may have lied. And what does this little exercise in rating women go to show? Well, I'm not sure really. Answers on a postcard please.
Last night I had the fortune (I'm unsure whether it was good or bad) to meet one of the contestants. I was in LN2 on the High Street when two girls entered, one wearing a sash with Miss Lincolnshire and some other stuff written on it. Before I knew what had happened, my mates and I had all sent a text message to some random number to register our vote for her. Alcohol is a dangerous thing.
Her friend took on a persona of campaign manager which was unfortunate, as she was clearly more attractive than the candidate. I pushed to see if they had any sort of manifesto, and I wanted to know what responsibilities she would have if crowned Miss Lincolnshire, but the answers didn't appear and I felt let down; I was eager for a debate on the environment or schooling or bikinis or something.
However, being the cautious ex-teacher that I am, the wire brace across the campaign manager's teeth alerted me to the fact that she probably wasn't very old (that and the fact that she was very attractive). I quizzed her on this and the answer was 18. Only 10 years younger than me then. When I returned home, I browsed to www.missengland.info to check out the competition. Here the scandal began.
You see, young Claire Wych isn't 18, but 17! A girl who wishes to represent Lincolnshire is in a bar that has a strict 18 and over policy. Does this mean disqualification? Should there be a public enquiry?
Now that I have the word document with all 20 contestants in it, I can safely say that I've voted for the wrong person. Sadly the only things that count are looks, age, height and name, as that is all that you know about the potentials. So, based upon this, I have done some elimination work.
First of all we rule out all of the contestants under the age of 18. Gone from the list are:
Claire Wych
Ellie Toth
Sammy Welburn
Stacey Larkin (a shame she had to go)
So, now we have to consider our three other options: height, looks and name. None of them are listed as benig taller than me, so they can all stay. However, the following are ruled out for having strange names:
Amy Cheeseman
Crystal Treadwell
Lucy Choo
Lynsay Bocock
Which only rules out 8 in total. So, it's down to looks. With no talk of motivation, what they enjoy doing or how they're going to change the world, we're down to good old fashioned looks. I can't be bothered putting all 12 in, so here's my top three, starting with number three...
Katy Jackson
Katy is 18 and 5ft 5in. I think she reached this far with a rather clever 'pyjama wearing' plan.
In second place...
Amber Smith
Amber is also 18 but is 5ft 9in. This isn't why she beat Katy.
And the winner is...
Sammie Parker!
Sammie wins due to being slightly older at 20, and a good height at 5ft 10in. She seems classically pretty, and if I could be bothered spending another £1 on a text message I'd vote for her. But I can't, so I won't.
So there you have it: my opinion on Miss Lincolnshire 2006. To those of you who believed I was doing some work this morning: I may have lied. And what does this little exercise in rating women go to show? Well, I'm not sure really. Answers on a postcard please.
technorati tags: miss_lincolnshire, lincoln
posted by Anonymous at
9:26 am
3 Comments:
what is this i am one of the contestants and why have i been ruled out for being under 18 what is this please can you email me back at wellburn.clm@btinternet.com
By
Anonymous, at 8:47 pm
I have recieved complaints regarding your Miss Lincolnshire article and demmand the immediate removal off this article.You have illegally copied and used my images off the contestants, and the Miss world and Miss England office have been contacted. Unless you wish to be prosecuted you will remove all reference to Miss Lincolnshire from these pages,
Miss Lincolnshire Licensee
By
Anonymous, at 7:12 pm
Richard, just to keep you up to date the website has the contestants in the following order (from the lead down):
Rachel Wilson
Sammie Parker (maybe my campaign worked?)
Lynsay Bocock
Lucy Choo
Ellie Toth
Lucy Stott
Emily Doyle
Katie Clements
Claire Wych
The rest have less than 100 votes (Rachel has 541) and with only a couple of days of voting left, I doubt they can do it. Best of luck though.
We just need some last minute voting for Sammie, to see if she can pip Rachel to the post. I could do it, but it would cost £65 to see her win.
By
Dan, at 10:41 am
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