A Slow Meander Through Life

Monday, December 19, 2005

Totally Quackers

If there is one thing that I haven't quite adapted to here in Lincolnshire, it's the fact that everyone uses the word 'duck'. It is used in the same way that 'love' is used in Liverpool: 'you alright love?', 'hello love', 'that'll be three pounds love'. Replace the word 'love' with the word 'duck', and welcome to Lincolnshire. The lady at the deli counter in Morrissons currently holds the record for the most ducks in one conversation. It runs something like this:
Lady: 'Hello duck, how can I help you?'
Me: 'I'd like 3 vegetable samosas please.'
Lady: 'There you go duck, is there anything else duck?'
Me: 'Yes please, 6 mini onion bajis.'
Lady: 'There we are duck, would you like anything else duck?'
Me: 'No thank you.'
Lady: 'Thanks duck.'
Me: 'Bye.'
Lady: 'Bye duck.'
It is something that you become accustomed to, until the man from the letting agency comes round to fix the leaky shower.
The conversation runs something like this:
Man: 'Hello duck I've come to fix your shower.'
Me: 'I'm scared.'

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